i’m going to write in here more often now. this is my new outlet… i was on some private shit for a minute. yep boys and girls…your boy got caught up. i was kickin it with this thai chick. its been about a year and a half. that’s my steelo. for some reason i can’t make a relationship last more than 2 years. often, i think it’s them… it’s the women. most often i end up feeling unappreciated and lucky i didn’t come out with any stab wounds. the mind of a woman is two-faced. one minute she can be swallowing every drop of your cum telling you how sweet it is, the next minute she can be screaming at the top of her lungs, “fuck off you fucking idiot!” while burning all your clothes and deleting your entire mp3 collection. is every woman potentially psychotic? is it what we do to them mentally that drives them to that behavior? i know i’m an intelligent guy… i’m good with logic. i like to apply logic to people when people just aren’t fucking logical. so maybe its me… maybe my expectations are too high? i think mostly i WANT to be in a loving, caring relationship but i equally want to be alone… fucking who i want, when i want and never having someone waiting for me at home.

so now that’s strike 3. i’ve tried to maintain a serious relationship with 3 different women. the first, my college girlfriend. i was a horny young fucker back then and i left HER because i knew i couldn’t be what she wanted me to be. i wanted to have my phone full of hot lil whores i could call at a moment’s notice and get off… with no obligations. so that ended… badly. i hooked up with a stripper in Las Vegas and had a kid with her… i love my son but honestly my meeting his mom was a trainwreck waiting to happen. that ended badly… last but not least, i saddle up with a hooker in a foreign country and after about 15 months, that ends… BADLY. what do ya think? the evidence shows either 1) i suck at being in relationships… 2) i suck at choosing a braud to chill with… 3) i’m in the wrong business for normal, lasting relationships… or 4) all of the above. i always get motivated at these times so i’m taking my time to get over this recent heartache. this is my first step… lay it out there & i’m exposed. now… the healing begins. do you know i almost died this year? i was driving a Chevy Colorado truck in thailand… a semi hit it and slammed the pickup against the wall on the highway. i’m happy to be alive… more new adventures to come. for now once again, i’m alone.

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